


Love survives

by JotunVali



Series: Old married Spones [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Emotionally Hurt Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Reunion, Rough Kissing, Twenty Years Later, implied mcspirk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26631940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JotunVali/pseuds/JotunVali
Summary: Spinoff from my fiction "One last dance".After Bones anounced Jim's death to Spock, the latter disappeared from McCoy's life for 20 years. None has ever given a sign of life to the other ever since. How are they going to react when Spock knocks at the doctor's house after 20 years of separation?
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock
Series: Old married Spones [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937425
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired from the song "Love survives" by Irene Cara & Freddie Jackson.

> _“Now if you please, doctor… I must… return to my quarters. And… think.” Spock vaguely explained before turning his broad back on shattered but silent Bones._
> 
> _["One last dance"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25272163/chapters/61269583), chapter 4. _

Back in his quarters moments after announcing the tragic death of Jim to Spock, the man he loved more than anyone, anything else in the world, McCoy noticed a piece of paper on his bed. He took it and realized it was Spock’s handwriting. Bones expected a series of the trashiest and most abusive sophisticated curses and insults of the universe jotted down there but what he read was a million times worse.

_Doctor,_

_I apologize for not informing you in person of my decision but I assume I shall need time to think about the captain’s death as I shall need to stay away from Earth for a while. I also plan to resign from Starfleet and start to follow my father’s steps by accepting the position of Ambassador the Vulcan Council proposed to me. I hardly believe we shall meet again._

_Live long and prosper._

_Spock._

Bones dropped the paper as if a burning coal. If it had been glass, it would have smashed into pieces on the floor. Smashed, just like his heart. Bones crashed down on his knees. The shock was so heavy, so overwhelming all strength had left his legs. Jim, his beloved, adorable Jim was dead, probably in atrocious pain, and Spock… Spock now hated him so much for telling him about his T’hy’la’s death he never wanted to see him again! Bones’ shoulders quivered. Spock now hated him so much he would even avoid Earth itself! A hiccup blocked his breathing. He trembled. Then he let the dam crumble down and burst into bitter, hurtful tears. Let a painful, agonizing scream out. Not caring one bit if a crew member would hear him. He cried, sobbed his miserable heart out. He hadn’t lost only one soulmate, he had lost them both! How could he cope or just _live_ with that?


	2. Chapter 2

20 years later.

Someone rang at the door. 80 years-old Bones wondered with mild annoyance who that nagger might be. He expected no one and no one except the heads of Starfleet knew his personal address. He really hoped it wasn’t Admiral Ciana or Admiral Saito. Seeing them made his skin crawl like a dying snake. He glimpsed into the peephole and what he saw upsetted all his certainties about his mental sanity and reality itself. It just couldn’t be. Bones wasn’t to see him ever again. And it has been 20 years! Spock had been hating him for 20 years! It just was  _ impossible _ ! Should he open the door? Maybe, yes. At least to check if that old doctor hadn’t gone irreversibly crazy and senile. He opened the door. He looked at him from toes to head. A heart attack was imminent. It really was him. Or a remarkably realistic hallucination. It was him. It was Spock.

Spock faintly gasped at seeing doctor McCoy. He actually was surprised the doctor had opened his door to him. Indeed seeing the doctor after so much time felt extremely unreal. Also Spock was fairly sure McCoy wouldn’t open to him after 20 years of absence; or rather disappearance. After all, the Ambassador never had given any sign of life to his friend since his announcement of Jim’s death. Maybe McCoy had forgotten about him. Spock cleared his throat.

“Greetings… doctor.” He poorly saluted in an embarrassed voice.

Bones lost it. It was like these last 20 years never had existed. Nothing else than Spock existed anymore. He jumped at his favorite Vulcan’s neck, almost snapping it, and burst into joyful tears.

“It’s you! It’s really you, you blasted, stupid… dummy!” He cried out on the black-cloaked shoulder. “Oh my God, I thought I’d never-!” A sob swallowed the end of his line. He hugged his long lost friend tighter; or rather clung to Spock’s neck like a baby koala to his mother. The Ambassador always had been unnervingly taller than him. Bones buried his nose into the crook of his neck, nuzzling the hair that had remained black after so many years. He whimpered and sobbed his heart out. Screamed. Moaned. His hand slipped into the Vulcan hair. He really was here! He was here! Bones wasn’t hallucinating! Spock really was here! That meant he didn’t hate the doctor anymore! Maybe… maybe he’d  _ never  _ hated him in the first place! And that brainless, dumbass of a doctor never had the reflex to just  _ call  _ him! So much wasted time because of his stupidity! He felt strong arms embracing his waist. He gasped in both surprise and pure bliss and sobbed even more. “Oh my God, dear freakin’ God!!” He screeched out “Spock I…!”

_ I love you! Damn me, I still love you! I still love you so fucking much! Never leave again! Never leave again!! Oh God, I’ve missed you so much! I love you! I love you!! _

“I love you.” He faintly whined before his shoulders softly jolted with another sob. “I still love you damn… idiot.” He moaned through thick tears. His body started to tremble too much for him to keep on talking. Seeing someone he thought he’d never see again, someone he thought as dead as Jim, someone he cherished more than anything else was quite a shock after all. Even though Bones still didn’t fully realize it. The embrace around his waist got tighter.

“As I have missed you, doctor… Leonard.” Spock murmured in McCoy’s blissful ear.

Bones stopped to breathe. Of course Spock could hear his thoughts! Of  _ course  _ he could! Damn that cursed katra sharing! But for once it didn’t bother him. Nothing bothered him anymore. He wanted to hug Spock forever, to be hugged by him forever! 

“I’ve… never,  _ never  _ despised you Leonard. “ Spock sweetly asserted in a whisper.

At that, Bones finally looked into his beautiful brown eyes and beamed. Both knew they couldn’t wait longer. Although illogical and physically impossible, Spock felt like diving and joyfully drowning into the doctor’s stunning, oceanic blue eyes. Both felt young and fiery again. As if their old age had vanished. Bones smashed his lips against the reserved Ambassador’s. Spock quickly and happily responded, lifting up the doctor’s body so the act wouldn’t turn into a physical challenge to Leonard.

While lifted just above the floor like a child by the Vulcan robust arms, Bones cupped Spock’s cheek and assaulted the other cheek with kisses. 

_ Now look at you, you handsome, stunning, astounding piece of wonderfulness! As hot and irresistible as eons ago! While  _ I  _ already am a decaying, dusty relic. _

The Ambassador’s lips surprised his own. 

_ I have seen an infinite number of relics throughout the universe which looked in a way worse state than yours _ . Spock telepathically told the doctor.

Bones blushed and smiled in the middle of their kissing session.

_ Is that supposed to be a moving compliment? _ He asked, fully knowing the answer.

_ Compliments are often vain flattery and lies, Leonard. I merely was stating the truth and the obvious. _

That’s it. Doctor McCoy decided there was absolutely  _ nothing  _ in the universe sweeter than a caring, loving, sentimental Vulcan! Despite the tire, he couldn’t stop kissing Spock, just as this one was gone to kiss him all day long. Soon, Bones’ kiss turned wilder, fiercer. Twenty years of absence and emotional soberness had their effects after all. 

First startled, Spock quickly caught up with McCoy’s pace and… passion. He squeezed the doctor tight against him and wondered if it’d be such a wrong thing to let his ancestor’s savagery buried deep inside resurge again. That interrogation instantly was answered and Spock fierily, boundlessly kissed the doctor as if he never had a Vulcan, logical upbringing in the first place. They stormed into Bones’ house in that wild, unconventional way. Both were so focused on their passionate mating they’d completely forgotten about the place that surrounded them. So much Ambassador Spock didn’t notice the furniture he soon bumped into and the carpet on the floor he tripped over. Both harshly fell down. Screaming the doctor’s first name, Spock fortunately caught Leonard’s head in time before it fatally smashed against the floor. 

“Leonard, are you alright?” Spock demanded, alarmed to death.

But the doctor couldn’t reply for he seemed to have fainted.


	3. Chapter 3

Spock carried the doctor in his arms, then laid him on the couch, carefully laying down Leonard’s head on the cushions. Like the doctor once had taught him long ago. Spock checked his heartbeat, his eyes, his breathing, any kind of stiffness in his arms or his legs. Everything seemed normal. Spock finally could breathe. For a moment, he honestly thought he had lost his beloved Leonard forever; worse, that he had  _ killed  _ Leonard with his unthought, reckless, dangerous emotions.   
He had come back to make up for twenty wasted years of a dreadful misunderstanding and maybe live twenty other years or more with Leonard. Not to brutally end his life! Were it not for his exceptional, sharp reflexes, Spock could never have forgiven himself. He took a moment to study and gaze at the doctor’s features. Unsurprisingly, he looked way older since their last encounter. His face was streaked and carved with long, deep wrinkles caused as much by old age as likely loneliness and grief. A merciless guilt bolt struck the Ambassador to the core. He was responsible for this wretched state of the doctor.   
Partly, at the very least. How could he have abandoned him and remained convinced it could only do Leonard  _ good _ ? His fingertips brushed McCoy’s skin. He had left the doctor all alone with his grief, with his own mourning of Jim while Spock should have remembered McCoy was the most emotional man in the world. That McCoy was the last person in the universe able to deal with strong emotions like mourning by himself. He had wanted to protect McCoy but in the end he had done the exact opposite. Spock was even afraid to dare a mindmeld with him. For he was sure the suffering he’d find would destroy him.   
A suffering partly caused by him. To which extent had the sensitive-hearted doctor been suffering an awful lot in silence, all alone? Spock gently caressed McCoy’s soft cheek. It still was fresh with tears. Just how many tears had he been shedding from twenty years ago until now? Had he met someone else? Had he married? Had children? Grandchildren? How many people had he helped and saved? Had he met again with Scotty, Uhura, Chekov, Sulu, Dr M’Benga or Dr Chapel? Or had he stayed all alone? Spock gently stroked Leonard’s grey hair. 

_ Please, tell me you didn’t remain on your own all this time.  _ The Ambassador silently prayed.

Bones fluttered his eyes, his so pretty eyes, open.

_ Ugh… what happened? I… I’ve made such a lovely dream. Spock was back. After twenty years… Of course it’s impossible. But… it felt… so real… so good. Has Spock ever kissed me like that? No… of course not. Just my craving, perverse imagination. I’ll never see him again, he probably forgot about me long ago, but… it’s nice to dream about him… really nice… _

His blurry eyesight got clearer. And caught a supernatural sight. His old heart skipped a beat. His breathing halted. He blinked a couple of times to be sure of what his eyes were perceiving.

“Spock?” Bones asked in a blank, disbelieving voice.

The Ambassador simply nodded.

“You… you’re really here.” The doctor observed more for himself than for Spock. He sat up. “You’re here.”

“Evidently I am, Leonard.” Spock confirmed. 

_ Leonard? _ Suddenly, Bones recalled his dream that wasn’t an actual dream at all. He gasped with shock and pure joy.

“Spock…” He started with the cutest smile Spock had ever seen, though it quickly faded. “Where have you been?” He urged with a faint voice and a heart-smashing look. “Why… Why do you… Why did you never come back? Why haven’t you even come to Jim’s funeral?” He whimpered in a creaky voice.

“I have, Leonard.” Spock admitted. “I merely have… arranged to avoid meeting with you.” He also admitted, with a clear guilty tone, looking away from the doctor’s sad face.

“What?” Bones’ voice turned barely audible. The Ambassador could nonetheless hear the deep hurt and heartbreak in it. “I… see.” Bones looked away too.

Until Spock took his hand and tenderly squeezed it.

“I honestly believed that if I behaved that way, that was for the better for both of us.” The Ambassador explained. “I thought… meeting me after what happened to the capt- to  _ Jim _ … was only going to bring you more grief and affliction. I… I’ve only realized a few days ago I might… I  _ had  _ made an appalling mistake.”

Bones smiled again.

“You?” He snorted. “A  _ mistake _ ? For twenty  _ years _ ?” He poked fun. 

“Have you made up a lifelong game to always and purposely forget about my Human half, Leonard?”

“Oh, so it’s your Human part’s fault!” Bones scoffed. “All of your manufacturing defects come from your Human part! Curse these diabolical Human genes that bring only trouble!” He joked.

“Not  _ all  _ of them, Leonard.” Spock softly implied. 

Bones couldn’t help grinning with fondness. His white cheeks turn into a lovely carmine.

“I guess… these lovely words come from your perfect, Vulcan part.” He commented.

“Vulcans do not tell “lovely words”, Leonard.” Spock reminded the doctor.

“But  _ you _ … do.” Bones noticed.

“I… do.” Spock confirmed, slowly getting closer to the doctor’s face. 

These two tiny words could only remind Bones of his happiest, most perfect and fulfilling marriage. From almost thirty years ago. With a captain and a science officer. Science officer who soon resumed kissing him. Softly. Tenderly. The exact opposite of what they’d done earlier. He gently squeezed back the Vulcan hand that was gripping on his. 

“I am not... expecting forgiveness on your part, Leonard.”

Bones brightly beamed.

“Too late.” He playfully retorted before he softly, tenderly kissed his long-lost husband who joyfully kissed him back.


End file.
